Said yes to being a groomsman, then realised you have no clue what you’ve actually signed up for? Don’t stress. Whether you’re wondering what the job involves, if you’ll need to brush up on your speech writing skills, or why everyone’s suddenly talking about suit fittings, we’ve pulled together a guide filled with everything you need to know.
From pre-wedding duties to calming the groom’s nerves on the big day, here’s what being a groomsman is really all about.
The role of a groomsman
So, what is a groomsman? Put simply, a groomsman is someone chosen by the groom to support him during the wedding planning process and the big day itself. They’re usually a close friend or family member like a brother or cousin, and they help with everything from steadying nerves to planning the stag do.
But believe it or not, groomsmen weren’t always just there to pose for photos and keep the dance floor lively. While the exact origins are debated, the tradition dates back centuries when groomsmen were chosen for their ability to fight and fend off potential suitors. Thankfully, weddings are far less dramatic nowadays, and swords have been swapped for suits and speeches. Phew.
What does a groomsman do?
Now that you’re clued up on what a groomsman is, it’s time to dive into some of the most common groomsman duties. Here’s a rundown of the typical tasks before, during, and after the wedding!
Pre-wedding groomsman duties
Groomsman duties start well before the couple exchange their vows. In the run-up to the big day, you’ll be one of the groom’s go-to people for advice, and maybe even the occasional emergency pep talk.
One of the main pre-wedding jobs involves helping to plan the stag do. Whether that means booking a European stag do destination or having a more low-key celebration at home, groomsmen (and the best man in particular) will need to get together to plan something memorable. We’ve pulled together these stag do ideas to help kickstart the planning process, plus some hilarious stag do pranks for a bit of fun.
Once the stag’s over, it’s time to get down to business and help with the wedding prep. This usually involves:
- Attending suit fittings
- Sorting travel to the wedding
- Showing up to rehearsal dinners
- Being there for the groom (whatever he needs)
Wedding day responsibilities
While your main job is to enjoy celebrating with the newlyweds, you’ll also be there to help make sure everything goes smoothly behind the scenes. Here’s a look at some typical groomsmen responsibilities so you’re not caught off guard:
- Arrive early and be prepared: Nobody wants to be that one groomsman sprinting to the venue ten minutes before the ceremony starts. Give yourself plenty of time to arrive, get ready, and support the groom.
- Help guests and answer questions: You might be asked to show guests where to sit or answer any last-minute questions.
- Look after important items: Whether it’s holding onto the rings or making sure the groom’s phone doesn’t disappear, these small tasks are super important.
- Keep the groom calm: Wedding nerves are completely normal, so a reassuring chat, a quick laugh, or some last-minute advice are always welcome.
- Get involved in photos: You’ll need to prepare yourself to feature in plenty of pictures too!
- Help the newlyweds celebrate: Make sure you’re present and fully enjoy the day, whether that involves getting everyone on the dancefloor or telling a few jokes.
Remember, every wedding is different, so responsibilities will vary depending on the couple’s preferences and the style of celebration.
Are groomsmen needed post-wedding?
While most of your groomsman duties will be done and dusted after the wedding, you might still be needed to help with a few things. This could involve sticking around to pack things up, organise gifts, or help family members load belongings into their cars. You might also be asked to help return the groomsmen’s suits after the wedding. Getting married can be a bit of a whirlwind, so an extra pair of hands is always going to be appreciated.
Well, that’s everything from us on all the typical groomsmen responsibilities. Hopefully this little taster of what you can expect has helped you feel more prepared and excited ahead of the big day!
Oh, and one final thing, don’t forget to turn up with a card and gift to help them celebrate. Our wedding cards are particularly perfect, if we do say so ourselves…
If you found this handy, you can dive into plenty more wedding guides over on the thortful blog too. There you can learn how to write a wedding speech or get inspired by our wedding guest book message ideas!
Groomsman duties FAQs
How many groomsmen should you have?
There’s no set number of groomsmen you need to have. Some people choose to have one or two close friends, while others have a huge party filled with family members and lifelong mates. The most important thing is choosing people who will genuinely support you and make the day feel special.
Do groomsmen have to give a speech?
Traditionally, speech responsibilities lie with the best man, so it’s not necessary for groomsmen to give a speech. However, if you’d like to say a few words and the happy couple agree, go for it!
What’s the difference between a best man and a groomsman?
The best man is usually the groom’s main support throughout the wedding planning process and big day itself. While all groomsmen are important, the best man typically takes on the most responsibilities, like planning the stag do and giving a speech at the reception. These best man speech ideas should help you out if you’re stuck for words.
Do groomsmen need to be single?
No, there’s no need for groomsmen to be single. They can be dating, single, in a relationship or already married! Side note: there’s also no need to stick to the tradition of having just men in your party. If your sister’s your absolute best friend, have her as a groomswoman!
Do groomsmen walk down the aisle?
Usually, yes. Many ceremonies include groomsmen escorting the bridesmaids down the aisle, or walking in as part of the wedding procession. Every wedding is different though, so the specifics will depend on the couple’s plans.
Should groomsmen bring a gift to the wedding?
Bringing a wedding gift is a thoughtful way to celebrate the happy couple. If they have a registry, choosing from it is a safe option. Or, the groomsmen could chip in together for a group gift!
